#LoveMe Challenge | Day 5
Today is Day #5, and the prompt for today reminds me a little bit of my 16 Things I Learned By Age 16 post that I did a few years ago. I really enjoyed doing that post, so you can click the link to read it if you fancy that.
For this prompt, I'm writing to my past self, and I think this is one prompt that you all should do, even if you're not participating in this challenge. Maybe grab a journal and handwrite it, or pull up a blank document on your computer.
Whatever you decide, here's mine.
A Note to the Past You
I guess I should start this letter off by saying hey. So, "hey."
I'm sorry you ever felt out of place. Asian blood combined with a birthmark that's not easy to hide makes for a tough time when you start caring about your appearance, eh? Just wait a few years. I promise people will grow out of their tendencies to judge solely on how you look, and being the weird person will actually help you meet some of the nicest people in your life. But feeling out of place is no excuse for being a bully. You never took people head-on, but gossiping behind their backs isn't okay either. Nobody wants to be friends with the snake. I'm proud of you for growing out of that into someone who genuinely tries to be the little bit of kindness in someone's life, no matter who they are.
You're going to make mistakes. (And don't I know it.) Everyone says making mistakes is okay, and it is. But go with your gut instinct. Standing on the fence for years and being afraid to do the things you knew you had to do...it all makes me feel a little green thinking about it. Don't be so swayed by other people's opinions, so much so that you go completely against what you want to do. You hate being forced into things, and allowing yourself to be boxed in when you have the chance to break free will only make you feel like a fraud.
Remember that boy you thought you liked more than any other? He's only human. You made your choices, and so did he, and you just stopped being the one he chose after a while. But you'll be okay; just take a breath for a little bit and get yourself back on track. It's impossible to truly love someone fully until you love yourself, and you definitely did not love yourself at the time. So don't hold it against him that he decided to find someone who wasn't constantly needing to be babied and told she was pretty to feel okay.
You're going to be anxious. And sad. And maybe even completely frustrated with the way life is going. That's okay. You're going to find people who love and support you for no reason other than that they want to. Hold on to those people. Also, just know that it's okay to break every once and a while. If you're overwhelmed and just need a good cry, don't worry if you feel helpless. You family and friends will always put you back together, and you'll find people who love you in places you may never have expected.
I'm equal parts proud and not proud of who you are, but I know someday you'll make it to a place where you will be typing this letter. Stay strong, and don't ever let someone make you feel like you're not good enough.
You are enough.