Guestober: Robyn Hoode
Well, hello again, lovelies!
This week's lovely Guestober guest is Robyn Hoode of Spiral-Bound. Robyn is nerdy and wonderful, and one of my best friends I've made through blogging. She'll be taking the reigns for Guestober post #4, and I'm pleased to welcome her to my little blogosphere. Take it away, Robyn!
Why Dragons Would Make Good Pets
My name is Robyn Hoode. I am the owner of DRAGONS R US, the only store in the blogosphere that supplies every one of you dragon needs, because everyone needs a dragon!
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Why on earth would something as large and inconvenient (and potentially smelly) as a dragon ever be a good pet?” Well, I present to you eight reasons why you might seriously consider adding a dragon to you family.
1.They protect you. Dragons are better than any guard dog. Just one fierce roar will send any unwanted visitors running, screaming hysterically as they head for the hills! Some people scream just seeing the dragon!
2. But wait, they sound too fierce now? But dragons are loyal even unto death! Hatching a dragon from an egg can be a great joy. Training a dragonlet with care and consideration will make the dragon ever loyal to you and your family! You never need worry about betrayal or it mistaking the ten year old for a chew toy!
3. Dragons can be taught how to fetch. Who doesn’t love throwing a stick or ball or Frisbee for their pet and having them return with it covered in slobber? As you train your dragon to guard the house and do its business outside, you can also teach it fun tricks, providing hours of enjoyment and entertainment for the whole family!
4. Most dragons have the ability of flight. Small or young dragons can be taught to be hunters, much the same as falcons, ridding you of any unwanted rodents. And the large ones can be taught to carry passengers. Imagine how much money and time you’ll save taking the dragon to work! No more waiting in traffic! No more outrageous gasoline prices! And do the kids want a ride to school? Of course they do and your dragon can be to the school in back before you even have to leave for work!
5. Dragons will eat almost anything! Make too much food? Feed the dragon! Leftovers going to go bad? Feed them to the dragon! Food waste will never be a problem again!*
6. Dragons breath fire. No more wasted matches or bonfires that won’t light! The dragon will save your marshmallow roast! Your fireplace will never go unlit again!
7.Still not sold? Well, let me tell you, dragons have scales, not fur! I’m sure most of you smart people already know that, but have you ever considered what that means? No allergies! That’s right! If you are one of those people who is allergic to just everything, then a dragon will be the perfect pet for you!
8. Dragons are just awesome. Just think of it! People will see you ride your Excelsior 2013 to the office and watch in awe as you park it on top of the parking garage. Your kids will be the most popular kids at school! And everyone will ask “Where did you get such a marvelous and epic creature?” And you will tell them “I got him at DRAGONS R US.” And then they will all rush out to get their own!
So don’t delay! Our dragon trainers at DRAGONS R US will match you up with the perfect dragon for you and your family, taking careful steps to insure that you get nothing less than awesomeness! I’m Robyn Hoode, signing off. Come to DRAGONS R US for every one of your dragon needs, because everyone needs a dragon.
*It has been scientifically proven that dragons will not eat tuna-noodle casserole or rutabagas, no matter how long they’ve been in your fridge. But let’s just face it and agree that no one eats any of those, anyway.