It Is Time To Creep A Random Person Out

Are you feeling mischievous today? So mischievous that you would put on a unicorn suit and go around throwing paper mache rainbows at people? Then please, give me a moment of your time and listen closely.

The first step is to find a friend of yours who's got plenty of time. If they're simply sitting in their comfy chair eating lemon drops and trying to get the world record for most dots eaten by Pacman while singing the alphabet song in Spanish backwards, then they have no excuse for not helping you out.

Get your friend to dress up in something professional looking (for guys, this includes a dark suit and dark sunglasses, a tie and briefcase if you really want to go for the whole nine yards. Girls, skirts and dressy tops, hair pulled back with those deadly bobby pins that we all have).

Take this friend with you on the local bus. It should be a somewhat empty bus, because it'll be harder to accomplish your task if the bus is crowded. (If the said bus is crowded, feel free to launch a stink bomb. Those usually clear out an area in record time!)

Take a seat on the bus and act natural for a few minutes. I know, it's hard, but try.

After those few minutes, make sure your friend is in on the plan. There's nothing worse than your accomplice completely messing up the dastardly deed at the last second. (I learned that the hard way after a cauliflower-shaped muffin incident went downhill.)

Find a random person on the bus who looks like they could be scared easily. (Watch for jumpiness, glances flicked often over the shoulder, tapping of the foot, eating of unhealthy amounts of Cheetos, etc.)

Stare at this person.

That's right, just stare at them. Your friend too. Just keep staring. Wait until this person looks up at you, but do NOT look away once they make eye contact. Make no impression that you realize they're looking back at you.

Slowly pull out a cell phone from your pocket and pretend to dial some numbers, all without breaking eye contact. Put the phone to your ear and say, "We've found him/her."

The person will either a.) give you a strange look, b.) attempt to speak with you, or c.) run off the bus at the next possible chance screaming about spies from Antarctica coming to kidnap us all.

That is all.

Comments

  1. I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying! That's hysterical! Wait...do both you and your friend dress up nicely?

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    1. Yep! The idea is to look like secret agents.

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  2. Wait...what happened to the unicorn suit?

    Wait...why would they think you, a kid, is a spy?

    Kidding. xD It was immensely amusing, Sea. :D

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    Replies
    1. Well, I'm not a kid... which means I could get arrested for this one. ;)

      Ever heard the one where you are in a full elevator and you say "I'm sure you're wondering why I've gathered you all here."? :)

      ~Robyn Hoode

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    2. What unicorn suit, Amanda? I don't remember a unicorn suit. Elephant suit, yes, but I do not recollect a unicorn suit.

      Because they will be naive and unsuspecting. Mwa ha ha.

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    3. I love that one, Robyn! I've also heard of one where you hide in a rack of clothes and say, "Buy me!"

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    4. Well, Sea..."So mischievous that you would put on a unicorn suit and go around throwing paper mache rainbows at people?" THAT unicorn suit. xD

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    5. Oh. Oops! I forgot about that. (:

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  3. This. This is hilarious. Just added it to my bucket list for life. :)

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  4. I need to try that! Now to find some bobby pins...

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  5. I should try that sometime... It is so funny. Also the unicorn thing. I think I would be a good unicorn-dressed-paper-meche-rainbow-throwing human. :)
    ~A.J. Ryan

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    Replies
    1. I'll do it if you do it. I've always wanted to be a secret agent.

      If you wanted to, you could dress up like Bubbles and be a concentrated ball of happiness throwing paper mache rainbows. (: That would be cool too.

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