The Perplexing Puzzle of Baron Brr, Part 2: Suspected Sea Turtles

"No! No! He cannot be dead! He's the baron, for anchovy's sake! Even Ted knows that!" A voice on the bejeweled telephone protested, the owner of the voice completely beside himself with excitement, though he tried to keep his voice calm. A murder mystery! Captain Kooper to the rescue it would be!

"Admiral Kooper, just please come quickly!" Baron Brr's wife pleaded before slamming the phone down on the table, shattering it before Captain Kooper could correct her choice of ranking for him.

Seana didn't know what to think. One moment earlier she had been walking into the room, her brain spilling with ideas for the baron's unicorn emporium, the next, she was kneeling beside a dead baron wearing a kilt. The baron was wearing it, that is. Now she was just waiting for the captain of the sheriff's department to arrive, no doubt he would try to make his entrance grand. They all did.

The floor suddenly erupted and a single person leaped from it's clutches, laughing like a maniac.

"Grrrreetings my dears! I was told we have a murder on our hands, hmm?"

"Yes, Admiral Kooper, that is true," the baron's wife replied, her voice quaking with grief.

"That's why Captain Kooper is here to help, madam. Now tell me, who was the last one to see the baron?"

"That personelle over yonder, by the windowsill nibbling on a soft pretzel. Heaven knows where she found that thing..."

"And no one else came before her?"

"Not to my knowledge, no."

"To my knowledge, then?"

"I don't have the slightest idea if to your knowledge there was."

"Well I do have the slightest idea, so it is all well and good," the captain said proudly. "Now then, miss, did you kill the baron?"

"What a preposterous idea, captain! Of course not! I needed to speak with him about his unicorn emporium and then--"

"We don't have a unicorn emporium."

"Not yet, but it was a top secret plan that he only told me, so I--"

"Now who's stating prepos...prepoos....prepostidious.....oh, drat it all! Now who's stating the ridiculous ideas, hmm?!" The captain glared at Seana over his large sunglasses that were totally unnecessary for the lighting they were in.

"Mrs. Brr, do you believe this girl did the crime?"

"Oh, yes! I tried to stop her from coming in, but she kicked my shin and ran in, cackling the whole way! She did this to my poor husband! Killed him with her turtleneck, I bet! Strangled the poor thing!"

"Hey! That's a lie! I did kick her in the shin, but that's because she opened the door and I had just gotten lost and had been forced to help a catapult lady who was really rude, so I was mad, and then I kicked what I thought was the door, but really wasn't and that turtleneck wouldn't have been any good for strangling, so how could I have--"

"Enough!" Captain Kooper growled. "Turtle, I'm going to have to place you under arrest unless you can come up with sufficient evidence that you are not the one who did this horrific crime."

"But my name is Sea--"

"Sea Turtle, hush! I am speaking! One more word and I'll bring out the most deadliest weapon, Ted!"

"But...I...oh...." Seana's protests died in her throat. It was not going well. She'd rather be ice fishing on the pier for frozen anchovies without wearing mittens than this. The captain surreptitiously brought out his secret weapon, Ted from his coat pocket.

Seana's eyes flicked through the room, and then she spotted it and almost let out a cheer, except she could almost feel Ted's eyes on her...

Right next to the baron's kilt, in his left hand, was that paper. Perhaps...?

She started towards it, but Captain Kooper jabbed his teddy bear into her back. "Not another step or I'll make Ted here cuddle you to death." Seana grumbled, but the idea of stranger hugs, even if they were from a bear, were not one of her favorite things.

"But, captain, there's a note--"

"Well, looky here, Ted! We've spied us a note in the baron's hand!" Captain Kooper nodded with satisfaction. "With his last breath he's told us the identity of the culprit!" He eagerly grabbed at the note. And frowned. "From the looks of it, Sea Turtle might be off the hook." Captain Kooper held up the note.

King Caliente was scribbled on it in a messy scrawl.

"That's my husband's handwriting!" Mrs. Brr wailed. Captain Kooper turned Ted to face her and she shut her mouth halfway through the wail, creating a garbled squeak.

"Hmm, King Caliente is the baron's closest companion. Unless it was all a hoax to make the baron like him so he could murder him undetected! Yes! It all makes sense now!" Captain Kooper turned to Seana. "I've reached a decision, Sea Turtle. Bring us this said King Caliente, and you'll go free. Until then, Ted will follow you wherever you go and prevent you from leaving Frostbite until the king is here with me."

Seana shuddered, and hoped that Ted wouldn't follow her to the vault where she kept her top secret story ideas. Teddy bear's with passwords? Bad combo.

She turned to leave.

"Oh, and, Sea Turtle? Should you fail to bring the king to me in two day's time, I'll be forced to sic Ted on you, is this clear?"

"Clear as a crystal ball that's been slathered with lip balm!" She chirped before sprinting out of the room, Ted hot on her heels, wriggling his paws in anticipation of cuddling the girl to death.

TO BE CONTINUED....

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